


A Letter to Yuri

by hogwartsschoolofanime



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 19:06:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10169771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hogwartsschoolofanime/pseuds/hogwartsschoolofanime
Summary: "Yesterday, you walked into my room, tears streaming down your face and you asked me why I loved you. I told you it was because you were the best thing that had ever happened to me but it didn't seem to be enough."A letter addressed to Yuri from Viktor.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is kind of related to Pick up My Pieces but can definitely be read on its own.  
> EDIT: Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments you guys make my day! :)

Yesterday, you walked into my room, tears streaming down your face, and you asked me why I loved you. I told you it was because you were the best thing that had ever happened to me but it didn’t seem to be enough. You slept in your room last night and my bed was too cold: I had a hard time falling asleep without your steady breathing and your heartbeat as my lullaby. This morning I woke up reaching for your hand before I realised I was alone, that you were gone. I can’t find you, but you left your cell here so I can’t call. Minako told me you were probably at the rink and that I should leave you alone for a while. I don’t think she understands how every second away from you like this physically pains me.

I know what you’re doing; you’re shutting yourself off, skating away the pain and the fear. It takes ten times longer to open up than it does to shut yourself in.

I guess the point of this letter is to answer your question. You asked me why I loved you: here goes.

 

I love you because the moment I first saw you, I was captivated by how beautiful you were and how you didn’t even seem to know. I wanted to talk to you, to get to know you, but by the time I got away from everyone, you seemed to have vanished. I thought that you were just a spark, that I would get over you in a jimmy, like I did most other people. But that night I couldn’t get your blushing face and bashful eyes out of my head. (And I’m not even going to _mention_ the banquet night because _holy fuck._ ) I stayed up way too late trying to convince myself that it was nothing. I should have known it wasn’t.

I love you because when you skate, it’s like I can’t look away. The way you move, precisely and yet so freely, it almost puts me in a trance. Before I met you, before I got to know you, I felt like there was something missing, that you loved skating but it wasn’t enough. But then there was that moment, as if something clicked in your brain like a switch and I could see something had changed but I couldn’t tell what it was until you started skating and then it hit me that you finally had something to skate for. Your Eros was pork cutlet bowls and then seducing men as a woman and then finally, _finally_ , it was me and all I could think of was how breathtakingly beautiful you were. That was when I knew I had accidentally on purpose fallen in love with you. At first it was just playful flirting to get you flustered and blushing. I didn’t want to think that this could be anything more than it was. But the way you skated, there really wasn't anything I could do about it. 

I love you Yuri, because you are gorgeous. Not only when you dress up for fancy occasions or competitions and make an effort, but when the sun wakes you up in the morning and you cuddle closer to my side, grumbling something into my chest because it’s too early. The mellow light makes your hair turn this deep brown that I could look at forever (especially when it sticks up in every direction because you went to bed with wet hair). Stunning even when I hide your glasses and you squint at me like a mole rat, then whack me in the arm and threaten me by saying you won’t ever kiss me again if I don’t give them back. Surprise: I normally do. Lovely when you do mundane things like read the paper or wash the dishes or make a cup of tea. When we have breakfast at a cafe and you flick your hair out of your face, my heart practically skips a beat. Something I’ve noticed is that people with brown eyes seem to think they’re boring or unattractive. When I told you that I loved yours once, you just scoffed and said you thought they looked like mud.

Normally, I take your side in arguments, but this time I have to disagree. Brown eyes in the sun turn into a sunset of their own: they melt into golden rays circling an eclipse. They are freshly turned earth after rain and copper against sage, the colour of nature and peace. They carry the weight of a black hole, full of depths I can’t even begin to fathom. They are warm and comforting and familiar and _home_. You are not as simple as they want you to be.

On the nights before a competition when you can’t sleep, I try to calm you down by forcing you to lie down with me and gently playing with your hair, hoping you’ll think of something else and get some sleep. It doesn’t always work and some days we get to the arena and you look like Death itself. I hate seeing you get so anxious. It’s normal to be nervous, but the way you worry, about how if you fail it will affect me, it’s like you don’t even care about yourself as much. You always put others before. An admirable quality at times, but not then. I desperately try to think of something, _anything_ , to help, but nothing comes to mind. I guess Yakov was right, I’m not that good of a coach after all.

Some days though, it seems as if you’re an entirely different person. You walk towards me with such determination and concentration that I actually think that you’ve been replaced with some sort of government clone. Your hair is pushed back and all I can think of is _hot damn._ You get on the ice and look at me and I start having troubles breathing. The fact that you skate this way for me gives me heart palpitations. It’s something I can’t begin to explain.

 

Okay. I feel like I’ve covered that I’m completely infatuated with your beauty and your skating, so now I’m going to move on to the more important stuff. Because though you are stunning and an amazing skater, you are also so much more.

You are staying up until three in the morning finishing a good book or just talking about everything and nothing, soft jazz playing in the background and a mug of tea in one hand. You are espressos and croissants with jam on the streets of Paris in the morning, the smell of fresh bread weaving through the bustle of commuters and tourists. You are long unplanned walks in the forest in autumn and jumping into a huge pile of leaves just for the fun of it. You are soft forehead kisses and not wanting to get out of bed in the morning and ending up watching an entire season of Doctor Who. You are baking cookies but forgetting the flour so they end up disgusting and deciding to just order donuts. You are almost falling asleep in the hot springs after a long day of training and stumbling into bed, exhausted but content with the day’s work. You are catching snowflakes on your tongue, rosy cheeks and noses hidden by giant woolly scarves and hats. You are snowball fights, building forts and making snow angels. You are coming home to hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and whipped cream when it hasn’t stopped snowing for a week and it’s so cold I think my ears will fall off.

You are cherry blossoms and lanterns lighting up the sky; melon rolls and ocean waves. You are my favourite candle, the one that burns the brightest and smells the best, like burnt sugar and vanilla. You are picnics on the beach and stargazing all night; campfires and laughing when our marshmallows catch fire but still putting them in s'mores anyway, because come on, they can’t be _that_ bad can they? You are a cool wind that carries hope and brushes through the grass before playing with my hair, cooling me down on hot days.

You are kind and compassionate and funny and everything that is good in the world. Determined and resolute and fierce about what you care about, protective of those you love. I find myself privileged of being that to you. You are my universe, colourful and extraordinary. Being around you is like being beside a star going nova: explosive. Like you are a black hole, taking all my attention. Around you, I am nothing but a speck, helplessly orbiting. Because if I am the Moon, silver and glowing, than you are the Sun, golden and shining and lighting up my life with your smiles and your laughter.

 

With all these things that you are, it would be unfair if you weren’t some things too, don’t you think? You aren’t selfish or greedy, though sometimes I see you stealing from my pork cutlet bowl when you think I’m not paying attention (did you really think I wouldn’t notice?). You’re not mean or rude even if sometimes you don’t pull back on the sass with me. I don’t mind, it’s actually kind of cute. You’re not the kind of person who gives up easily; when you set your mind to something, you always persevere until the end. Getting into an argument with you about something you really care about isn’t something I take lightly and so far I haven’t won yet.

I remember that day I showed you the Eros choreography and I could see that you doubted if you would be able to do it. You told me you lacked confidence with your head bent, eyes cast down and feet shuffling nervously. When I got closer to you, I was playing it cool but really I was freaking out. I touched your lips and your breath hitched, cheeks and nose blushing so pretty and all I could think about was how close we were and how I could just kiss you right then.

You still get anxious before competitions but I feel that because now you have a reason to skate, you’re just that much more comfortable with yourself. Even before you start to skate, you command the audience's attention with how you hold yourself and your expressions.

Try as we can, no human being could ever be perfect. But to me, Yuri, you’re pretty damn close.

 

One final thing little piggy: you are mine. I am yours too, obviously, but I don’t think I need to tell you that. You are mine in the mornings when we don’t want to get out of bed, mine when I try to make breakfast because you haven’t had your coffee yet and I burn the eggs because I was too busy staring at you (that’s your fault for being so damn attractive). Mine when you try to get mad at me because of that but you just laugh, shake your head then stand on your tippy toes to kiss me on the nose. You were mine when we went to New York in the fall and you were amazed by the coloured leaves that rose up in the wind and whipped around you. You looked to happy and sweet and innocent in that moment, eyes shining with excitement and I smiled wider than I think I ever have.

You are mine when we have snowball fights, even when you win. I hate losing but you make me chicken noodle soup and kiss me in the hot springs so I guess I’ll forgive you. Watch your back though: next time it snows, you’re going down. Mine when you try again and again to perfect a choreography, begging me to show you _just one more time_ even though it’s been hours and I’m not as young as I used to be.

You are mine even when we get into arguments, harsh words we don’t mean being thrown across the room and tears we think the other can’t hear in our separate beds that night. I hate when that happens, I hate seeing you angry and sad and unhappy. I wish it would never happen but no relationship is perfect and that stands true for ours too. You are mine when I apologise in the morning and you accept. I kiss you and it’s the best feeling ever. You dig your fingers into my hair, hesitant and shy at first but then I pull you closer and you get more confidant. Mine when we rush towards each other at the end of your skate: we collide and I feel like I might explode. You are mine, Katsudon. You are mine, and I would do anything for you.

 

Yesterday, you walked into my room, tears streaming down your face and you asked me why I loved you. I told you it was because you were the best thing that had ever happened to me but it didn’t seem to be enough. I hope this is enough. I hope you know that you are my world, beautiful and perfect and mine. I love you, Yuri. Can you believe me now?


End file.
